Just another day in SF..

Well I have learned more things about California. First of all it is an amazing city with so much to do and so much to see.. but trying to get around here legally in a car to do/ see it all.. almost next to IMPOSSIBLE.. Insert here the California DMV:

So on Tuesday last week the dreaded day came that I had to go back to the DMV. Yes i said back being that this was my second trip b/c the first time after my parents had sent me my title.. the DMV decided that it wasn't good enough. (long story). Anyway, yes here I was back at the DMV and determined not to take another day off work and determined to get both my car and my California license in hand, and I was not leaving till i did so.

My appointment was at 9:30. After standing in line for my ahemmm "Appointment" I finally got to the lady and she said "what are you here for" where I replied "to renew my car and get my car registered in California"... easy right?? WRONG! I then proceeded to hand her every piece of paper I had on me.. passport, social security card, old drivers license, smog test, car insurance... the list goes on and on. On top of the 3 different papers I needed to fill out to even apply! I was armed and dangerous and full of uppercuts!! I then got a number awesome. service right away!!

Again WRONG! I waited in line for about another 30 min to get to someone that would actually start the process. My number was called and I was like please give me the nicest person possible and i can get out of California purgatory! I had an eye exam... where I cheated because I couldn't even see the first line (I think that is a sign i need glasses). Passed that great! Then I started to give her all my paperwork as she looked at me like I was crazy. She said lets get your car registered first.

So we started with that and she was like ummm excuse me for what you want to do I dont have a signature here so you will have to come back on a different day when this is signed by your dad. I almost cried. I insisted that the last time i was here i made the guy highlight in red what my dad needed to sign on the title.. guess what He in now way made my dad sign what he needed to. I am guessing this is why the DMV has like a 2 star rating on Yelp, because they suck! I was so mad, so what i had to end up doing after her calling my mom and talking to her because I was in no way taking off another day at work to get this fixed was that I had to get a California title, instead of trying to keep my Missouri one. Awesome.. California take more of my money in taxes... Anyway that was out of the way and then I had to go stand in another line (who knew.. another line.... awesome...)

So here I was standing in another line waiting to get my plates. The woman next to me couldn't speak a lick of English and I think she was having an easier time than me! About 2 hours in at this point.. and roughing it out. I kept telling myself.. you can do this you can do this. I just kept looking at the line increase outside in the parking lot going inside, so it made myself feeling somehow better that "hey at least I am not in that line"

So finally I got my plates. I was hoping to get some cool numbers or letters that spelled out something.. but no luck there. So then I went to the Drivers license line. I was thinking great this line is so small. Then when i realized I was actually standing in the line to the bathroom, the line next to the drivers license line, it didnt seem so great. Back into the correct line I went.

I stood in line to get my photo taken, thinking that hey at least out of all of this i get to get rid of the horrid chipmunk face I was making in my Missouri license! I ot my photo taken and then had to chose whether I was going to take the Chinese written test or the English one. Hmm hard choice there..

Now the tests that i took online were all pretty much common sense, What is this sign, and how many feet do you have to signal before you make a right hand turn. Online I could pretty much narrow down the choices. After taking 6 online quizzes I felt I was going to ace this test. As I went to my little cubicle I turned over the test and I looked down 45 QUESTIONS!!!! WTF!! What the hell is this I whispered to myself! I went up to the desk "Mam I think you gave me the wong test.." as she looked at me like I was a retard "Um no that is your test and you can only miss 3, if you have more questions stand in line" -I was not going to stand in line so back to my cubicle I went..

45 questions later and a piece of paper full of drawings with x's that equaled my car and arrows pointing to where i was turning, I finished. These damn questions were NOTHING like the online test. I mean what happened to 12 questions.. what happened to narrowing it down! These questions were so confusing I drew stick diagrams! Anyway I said a quick prayer and stood in line once more. Crossing my fingers I passed I watched the people go before me. A Chinese woman failed, the 80 year old woman passed with flying colors (She only had to do the front page?!?) and then it was me...

I watched her as she graded my test. Her arm kept moving as she skimmed my answers. Then she looked up at me and said "YOU FAILED"... crap. I then said "well that is awesome, so when can i take the test again." she replied "Stand in line and I will give you another one" which in my head i was thinking "stand in line of course why didn't I think of that, it is the DMV's answer to everything!"

So as i was standing in line I noticed a Korean man and an older black guy sharing answers. I thought this was hilarious! The woman at the counter caught them and then yelled at all of us. I noticed the little Chinese woman standing in line in back of me too.. she was looking at my test. hers was in Chinese, how did she even know what it said? that cheater!

I got my next test and thank God some of the questions were repeated. I know I got those right. For another half hour I pondered whether it was legal to smoke in a car with someone who was under 18, and whether or not you could drive in a bicycle lane when making a right hand turn, and if so how many feet was I allowed before I could enter. I kept drawing pictures and finally just said screw it and circled one. I missed one more one the last test than I could of, so at least I had to do one question better.

I stood in line just praying, please God just let me pass. I mean I went to college, I have been driving since I was 16, I have only got one ticket and I paid for it, on time, I don't litter, I am a pretty good kid, I don't smoke, I drink but come one every 24 year old does.. but I dont drink and drive.... I mean I was throwing it all out there... PLEASE THROW ME A BONE HERE!

I got to the counter and I tried making her laugh this time. "Man these test are a lot different in Missouri.. I mean we worry about cattle and roadkill.. you guys worry about bikers and pedestrians.. haha" She looked up and glared at me and said "roadkill and people are hardly the same miss.." I counted that joke as a failure and put my head down and waited for my score...

Thank the Lord baby Jesus... I passed!

I think I took the paper so quick out of her hand just in case she miscounted wrong that she looked up at me in awe. I was out of there!! I was FREE.

My drivers license and new Missouri title is coming in the mail and I have successfully put on my new plates!

Moral of the story: $400.00 and many premature gray hairs & blisters from standing in line...Califonia DMV..you deserve your 2 star rating on Yelp.